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Family as the Training Ground of Love: Unification Family Therapy

Family is the 
Training Ground of Love

By YuliUTS / 2006 / Unification Family Therapy 

You have heard the words, "God is love." Where does that love manifest? In the relationships! So one person cannot manifest love all by himself. To manifest it, he has to have an object to love. Only then the flow of love can start. The place where these fundamental relationships are learned is in the Family, starting from the earliest of age.

"God's love appears in the place where the three types of love - the love of parents, of husband and wife, and of children - manifest as one. Where these come together, God is absolutely present for eternity." Sun Myung Moon, CSG p.483

All basic forms of relationships are learned in the family, through experience. For example, learning good relations with our siblings will develop our ability to relate with our colleagues. Learning to relate harmoniously, in trust with others, will be the foundation for a happy marriage. In the end, this is the needed foundation to be good parents.

"Parental love is the highest. Those who have been raised with the empowerment of true parental love become well-rounded people and understand the dynamics of love. The family is the school of love. The children will never forget their parents’ love. The full experience of parental love is impossible without parents."  (Sun Myung Moon, 1972.9.10)

What Kind of Love we have Learned 

"The love of God is expressed as parental love, conjugal love and children’s love... When  these  loves are  perfected,  happiness  is  perfected. When they are lacking, misfortune sets in." Sun Myung MoonThe Way of Love in the Family

Parents should create an environment of love and trust, not intrigues and distrust. It sounds simple, but it's the most difficult thing for most people. It takes time to develop our ability to love. It takes investing for others. Selfishness does not help here. You see how difficult it is for most couples to have joyful, harmonious and loving relationships. Any bad habit, any selfishness, any mistake can turn the cycle of relationships in the wrong direction. Only the attitude of 'give and forget' will help in such cases. 

Once you repeat several times to quarrel, react nervously to each other.. etc., it will become a habit - automatic reaction that goes on autopilot in similar situations. In this way, the Physical Mind, with its ability to help us, will suddenly become the prison for our spirit and heart.

Let point just a few bad relational habits. Once developing them it will become the main way how we fill up the time with others; the main means to create friendships; the main way we search for love.
Joking about others

Consequences of Bad Relationships

"They  are  a textbook of love. They are a textbook of love  through  which  we  can  encounter universal  love.  Go  out  into  society  and put it into practice." Sun Myung Moon, The Family is the School of Love

I have the gift to be able to see the spiritual level of the people. I visit all kinds of spiritual realms in the spirit world. One thing is obvious for me; the place where people end up in the spirit world depends on the type of relationships they have. 

Let's say people a person is educated, clever, emotional, but he loves gossiping, where will he end up? Such a person will be in a very painful area in the spirit world, where everyone loves gossips and intrigues. Doing such things they think they trust each other, in creating this evil four-position foundation, but in fact, gossips destroy any trust, they destroy relationships. They think they are heartistic, but in fact, that's a twisted, serpent-like heart.

Please understand, such people's main method of creating friendships was through gossips and intrigues against others. They learned that from childhood. Let's say one of the parents shared displeased feelings with the child, against the other parent. For the child, these were intimate moments of love. They grow up searching for the same type of love (Poisonous). Their purpose is usually just to fill up the time; create friendship. The problem is, they don't know other means to create relationships. 

Experience: The Gossiping Realm in Hell

"What's the consequence of sin?" After this prayer, God took my spirit to Hell. It was the Gossiping realm of the spiritual world. I can't describe the feeling, but it is the most painful place you can imagine. I spend few hours there, talking to people and trying to understand them. Something was very wrong with these people. 

No matter what you do, or not do, you are always accused. Whatever you say was twisted in such a vicious way.  My heart was agonizing, feeling the evil energy they produce. That's what these people did in their life. For them this resonance of heart was normal. They observed externally, accused and gossiped. My heart was in so much pain. But for them that's love - to share negativity, laughing and ridiculing others. These are the poisonous Vitality Elements they nurtured themselves in their physical life - so that's what they continue doing in the spirit world.

I can't imagine such evil games against each other in my own family. This will be Hell. Their very hearts were twisted. Yet, they looked clever, intelligent, heartistic, same as many of the humanistic members I know on earth. Read what's evil in Humanism. One has to be totally under his physical mind to do such things. Read, Liberate our Spirit Mind and you'll understand.

Parental Love Sets the Standard for All Forms of Love

"What should the love among children be  like?  What should they use as the standard for loving?  Brothers and sisters should love each other just as their father and mother do. From whom
should we learn about love?  We  should learn from our parents."  (Sun Myung Moon, 1973.4.18)

If you look at a family that has completely realized the ideal of family love... top and bottom we mean the parents and children, when we talk about left and right we mean the husband and
wife, and when we talk about front and back we mean the brothers and sisters. Through what do they all become one? It doesn’t happen through power,  knowledge or money.  Than what can bring it about?  It  is  love."


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